Imagine me with another face, telling different stories to different people...

I can't sleep.  And I have things that must be done in the morning. Well, later in the morning, I suppose. It's already technically morning, but still a long way from not-dark-o'clock. I'm trying very hard to not read my new book, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, but it is proving to be a foe who fights dirty. I'm on chapter nine, because I know you care, and appear to be nearly halfway through the book. I don't like books that have very few chapters. Even if they're long ones. I still feel cheated. TFiOS has had me thinking some pretty serious things, such as the ever occurring question of whether I will be remembered, and if, in the whole big plan of it all, if my being remembered even matters. Also, NicePeter, an afore-mentioned YouTube stalk-y of mine, has not posted a promised Monday video. That makes me worry. And it usually helped make my usually crappy Mondays suck much less. I'm concerned for his well-being as much as I would that of a close friend's, because he has gotten me through several bad days, and because he seems like a genuinely kind and levelheaded person. And it is already half-way into the month of June and I haven't been outside NEARLY ENOUGH!! Nor have I been even close to the recommended amount of physical activity or diet. AND (I know I complain a lot. That's why I created this thing, to complain to!) my favorite music website, Playlist.com, is acting weird! So I've lost all of my playlists and, pathetically, can't remember certain artists or songs that I genuinely enjoyed listening to!! Well, I think I've covered all of the complaining bases, and, thank all that is holy, I'm beginning to tire! I'm off to attempt to catch some literaly and preverbial zs. Good morning starshine, the earth says hello.

Allons-y!

What is going on?

Apparently, things are happening with my browser and Blogger. So if you can, by some miracle, see this post, then I'm afraid it might be the last unless someone tells the browser and Blogger that they're both pretty. Oh well, guess we'll see soon enough!

Allons-y!

Ps, if this is my last post, thank you to those, if any, who bothered to read it. It helped me vent, which was it's purpose.

Why does it take St. Elmo's Fire and Mick Jagger to see I've hit rock bottom?

I am living in denial. Waiting for an absolution that will never come. I have to pass my exams, and pass them with the highest possible grade in order to not fail this year. I've already screwed myself up, maybe for life, but, as a very dear, nay, my best friend recently told me, I have two more years. Is that enough time? I can only make it work. I can't screw around anymore, that much is certain. Work must be my main priority, no more of this stupid "love" business. And TV will have to be cut out, it kills your brain anyway. I'll need to drill myself in math every day just to make it next year, and this year. The only videos I'll allow myself to watch are explanatory ones on math concepts. I have to keep to this resolve, and not let it go. I cannot, will not, let my Angel of Music down.

Sleep Does NOT Come Quickly to the Stressed

Is it not the worst of human flaws that when we are in the most need for rest that we find it the most difficult to do so? I believe it is.

I do have a lot on my mind, however, and that might have something to do with it.

Exams are within hours, and my entire academic future seems to weigh on them. So, I will be spending every walking moment from tomorrow morning to Sunday night studying. But tonight, just when I need rest, I find myself still wide awake at 1:00 AM! I enjoy the nighttime, but not when I would rather be sleeping.

Another reason I can't seem to catch a ride on a slumber cloud is because of all this, quite frankly crushing, loneliness. I am not alone, yet I feel isolated. How odd. I'm trying to keep myself distracted, but I am too clever for myself and I see right through my own efforts.

I'm very fortunate to have the friends that I do, because without them, I honestly have no clue where I would be. They put up with my ramblings almost as well as a blog does. But, blogs don't take you by the shoulders and tell you to GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! *SLAP* However much you might need it.

And then there are the relatives. Batsh!t crazy, the lot of them, and persistant to boot. They add ten times more stress than they're worth, just by being in the same room.

I knew bloging would make me feel better! I can feel my eyelids drooping, thank Goodness!

Goodnight, all of you still awake out there.
Allons-y!

Honey Badgers Made of Awesome

So, I don't know if anyone out there has seen the Honey Badger video on YouTube or if you are familiar with the VlogBrothers, but I'm just going to go out on a limb here and act like you haven't. In which case, the title of this blog makes no sense to you. And that it perfectly fine, I was once like you. You poor souls. Anyway, the Honey Badger is an animal badass, and the VlogBrothers are two brothers who vlog to keep in touch with each other. They are SCARY smart and just want to make the world a better place (or,as they put it,"decrease world suck."). Their following call themselves Nerdfighters, not because they want to fight nerds, but because they want to be warriors of awesome, the substance from which they are made. Just look them up on YouTube, although, Wikipidea has a pretty accurate definition (last time I checked, anyway).

This all relates, I sware.

Anyway, I learned today that apparently someone whom I have been nothing but kind to has a problem with me. At first I was mad, but then I remembered I was made of awesome, and therefore had a mission to focus on: Decreasing world suck! (And finding a Time Lord, but that story is for another day.) And I also remembered my new motto: Honey Badger don't care, Honey Badger don't give a shit! So, I felt better. End of story. Sorry it's rather short and trivial today. I'll have deeper stuff later.

And next time we meet, I must discuss why I (and aparently every guy I've ever known) thinks I'm a cold, heartless bitch. :)
Allons-y!

Yipes!

Goodness GRACIOUS! This week has been the longest week in a very long time. Luckily, something will come up to make it worth it.

There have been small things which have gotten me through each day so far. Today someone bought me chips today and it made me very happy. Happier than most people would have considered normal, but I'm very into pay-it-forward-ish acts of random kindness.

Reading, writing, and music have rekindled my strong desire for experience and escape. I have a few sentences of what sounds like the beginning of something, music which makes me want to run, and I've started reading a book called Into the Wild about a young man who went out into the world and did everything he wanted, until he died because of stupid, small mistakes. RAWR!

I have been given reason after reason to believe that I have a certain way with words. From FB and YouTube comments to school papers, people seem to like what I have to say. There is a certain common sense to it that most people seem to miss.
1) Correct Grammar. Leave them nothing to make fun of.
2) Look at other comments/statuses. If you have to say the same thing someone else did, say it uniquely.
3) Be funny, not stupid. 
4) Don't be unnecessarily rude. DON'T HATE. Never ends well.

That's about it. Kbye.

Allons-y!

April Showers better bring some damnn good flowers...

I had to drive through Biblical-reminiscent torrential rain the other day. It was both fun and terrifying.

Music will fill this month, starting with the film The Music Never Stopped about an amnesiac who recovers slightly through his favorite music. The next music filled experience is a music festival hallowed by many.

OOOH! And I have been working on a very interesting tale from the 1970s.  Not much more to say right now.


Allons-y!