To question, or not to question?

I'll see how tomorrow goes, but as of now, I'm more confused as I lay down to rest than when I rose this morning. Oh, and I've decided my next obsession is Jacob Riis, the photographer/author from the early 1900s. He wrote How the Other Half Lives to get rich people out of their bubble of superiority and see the word around them for what it was: Pretty messed up! I'd say we could use another Jacob right about now. Anyway, confusion. I have been discussing my issues with my panel of assistants in life, or in layman's terms, my friends. They have almost always differed in opinions concerning me and the best choices for me, but on this issue I have found that I am seen a different way than I could have imagined. Apparently, some people think I'm, even subconsciously, a conniving, maniacal, selfish, psychopath! Now you, Dear Reader, though you have never met me, please agree with me that I don't read like a psychopath, do I? I just don't know anymore. I'm finding myself keeping my mouth shut and shutting certain people out as of late. I have good reasons to do so, but it still feels wrong. Now there are even fewer people who will put up with me! Curses. I could do something productive with my time, but these past few weeks I just haven't felt motivated to really do much, especially academic related. I plan to attempt to make amends with my Knight in Shinning Armor tomorrow, if he'll bite. Start with a "Hey, Stranger" and go from there is my plan. That leaves it open for him to accept or decline. But I've just had it pointed out that I'm still not exactly over my last trist. Maybe I should wait until that's dead and buried a little longer. I'm so CONFUSED!! At least music is still there for me, as always. I should quit complaining, I'm still alive, aren't I?

Allons-y!

Just Monday

After a whirlwind weekend, sometimes all you really need is a quiet, restful Monday to wind down into. However, very few of us get restful Mondays! So, to lift the spirits of those who have no rest on the day of Mon, I give you: NicePeter. Look for him on YouTube, he posts new videos every Monday and he's really funny. He sings, plays guitar, and just all around makes your day better for having been in his digital presence.


Apart from the advertising, this blog has another point to it. I was searching through some history notes for interesting facts and such, as I am want to do in my regular spouts of boredom, and I noticed some things that I had either never heard or never really though about. I have a seeking suspicion that there are thousands of years worth of history that no one ever talks about, and quite frankly, it upsets me! Why should we be forced to learn what "The Man" tells us and nothing more?? I am calling for greater history education because those who do not learn their history are doomed to repeat it. I want to learn about the Golden Age of Piracy, about women struggling for independence in the American West, about the Queens of Egypt who gained unimaginable power with charm and wit, and about feminists in the 1970s and the hurdles they had to leap in order to be taken seriously. I want to learn about Rock 'N' Roll and how it changed the world forever, and I want to teach children about animals they will never see. I want my legacy to be that I left nothing undiscovered, nothing unimagined, nothing unclimbed, nothing undreamed, and no one unloved.

I got kinda preachy there, sorry about that. I was feeling it! Speaking of Piracy, I'm working on a story about two young boys who run away from home to become pirates and find out it's not all rum and doubloons. When I get more of it done, I'll post it on here. Feel free to criticize, but keep in mind that only good criticism will be listened to. I'm kidding, seriously, tell me what you think. Well, I must be off. I've got stones to turn and mountains to climb. Maybe I should have made lower expectations for myself. Oh, well, too late now!

Allons-y!

I Love the Way You Lie

So, this painfest is not the best part of my weekend. I loved someone, and now someone else loves them. That someone else thinks it's a great idea to give me details of love letters and secret vows. I hate this. All I want is to go to bed so I can get to tomorrow faster, but I'm afraid of the nightmares or worse, sweet dreams full of memories of the two of us. He was my first kiss. It was a summer romance. It was doomed from the start, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. If only I had a time machine. So much pain could be avoided. This sucks. I hope this week will bring peace and forgiveness. I can't afford to think any other way.

Finding Truth in an Antique Shop

 Everyone has that place or person they go to for answers. Mine is any place where I can find relics of the past. Museums, second hand stores, Goodwill, even used furniture places, just as long as it's quiet and dusty, I'm set. Libraries and pawn shops are great, too, but I feel sort of unsafe in pawn shops and sort of unaccomplished in libraries when I see how much there is out there that I still haven't read yet. Anyway, I got the opportunity to play around in an antique shop for a few hours today and the layers of dust and time reveled their secrets to me. They told me to live to the fullest, to treasure the small things, to remember where I came from, and to love like time is a fleeting wind. I needed to hear these things from the past, but I also need to hear from my future because I'm not quite sure I have one as of now. I'm afraid. I feel lost. But I feel a change for the better on it's way. Maybe it's the spring-like weather, but hope is coursing through my veins. The relics I saw today simply told me to give it time. Everything works out, in time.

Caught Up in You

Well, last night was rather eventful. I can't decide if I really hurt someone or just placed myself in their life to do as much good as I can. I guess I'll figure it out soon enough. I just met them this past school year and I have always had a good time with them. They're funny, smart, sweet, and kind. It's been a while since I've met someone with all of those traits at the same time. Quirky is an understatement, but their heart's in the right place. They could be my Knight in Shining Armor, if I play my cards right. We could both be setting ourselves up for ultimate heartbreak, because neither of us are what would you would call "stable." However, it's bad luck not to look on the bright side.

Driving Miss Crazy

So, I was out driving with my mother today and she was acting in a manner I had never experienced with her before. She is normally a pretty lay back parent, if a little too "safe." She doesn't like chances or risks. Anyway, I was driving just fine and the entire time she was dictating my every move! I've never seen the woman so controlling! And it wasn't as if I was driving recklessly, in fact, I was doing very well, but she was acting as if I were in danger of jerking the wheel off to the side into a tree for no reason. I could see her picturing the newspaper headline: Local Women Killed in Car Wreck. Ridiculous! And it wasn't even my first time driving with her. She just decided to sprinkle extra sugar in her Crazy Flakes this morning, I guess.

On another, totally unrelated note, I have converted yet another to The Doctor! Doctor Who, if you do not know, is a British TV show which first aired in the 60s, then came back in the late 90s after taking a break in the 80s. The show is about the adventures of an alien man who can travel through time and space in a blue Police Call box(they were common in the 60s and it stuck). The Doctor, as the alien man is called, can regenerate when he is mortilly wounded, but he looks different after each regeneration. The idea was first a radio program in the 50s, I believe. Douglas Adams, author of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy once wrote for the show, putting the Doctor through his paces in adventure after adventure. The Doctor usually travels with at least one companion and she/he (but usually she) changes almost as often as the Doctor does. My aforementioned convert, Amber, has fallen almost as deeply in love with our dear Doctor as I have. Thank God/the Universe/Buddha/Jesus/Allah/The Giant Spagetti Monster/The Aliens/The Doctor for Netfilx!!